The final semester of my senior year in college was when I realized I had been tricked. I was a first generation college student graduating and having to tackle the brutal fact that I was unprepared to enter my field of study. I felt that I had been bamboozled- the laws of power and privilege had been hidden from me, and in turn, I didn't reap the same benefits as my peers who had this hidden knowledge. If only I knew these things... If only I got a heads up....
This idea drove me to teaching and leading. I wanted my support and advice to be able to be the foundation of another's success. I had plenty of support from my home community, but there was still a gap in my preparedness, and now, I'd have a chance to give all I had to another.
As I watch you, an amazing group of young ladies that I admire transition into college, many of you first generation students, I want to share the lessons that myself and many others learned along the way. On August 15, 2015, I asked friends on Facebook to help me verbalize, to you, lessons to consider while working to be the best that you can be. Ladies, as you move forward through this new journey, take these words of wisdom and be moved.
Carlissa Shaw Trust the process! Everything may not be perfect and you may have challenges that your counterparts do not have but God is just preparing you for greater later. #trusttheprocess
Reatha Slaughter Pray always and never give up.
Kenisha Smith Books before boys, because boys bring babies #stayfocused
Catrina Long Be mindful of those you keep close. They'll either inspire your growth or blur your focus. And as first gens, you're clearly there for a reason. Make it count and see it through!
Deneen LaShea Go real real real easy on those student loans. It's fun getting a nice refund check now but it's no big fun after graduation when you owe.
Martin K. Washington Stay focused. Have fun on Friday and Saturday nights
Gerri Bright Be confident, be bold, stay strong, and stay focused.
Kyle Jude Jones Your peers aren't rich, they just haven't figured out that loans have to be repaid; Stay fly within your means.
Work out regularly and don't eat all garbage.
A routine makes life more manageable.
This is the first and last time in your life that you can skip a day without telling anyone and survive. Take advantage. But not often.
Your grades don't reflect your intelligence, but rather your ability to synthesize info in a way your professor likes. Understand your professor, and you'll improve your grades.
You are your five closest friends (seriously: my boys and I all graduates with the same 3.3-3.6 gpa range). Don't run with folk who aren't serious.
Don't tell anyone you want to pledge that's not an immediate family member or a years trusted mentor. Especially not in social media.
Speaking of which, what's understood doesn't have to be said: don't put every hurt on Instagram, snapchat, tumblr, or Twitter. Don't respond to the trolls. You're a queen: live above the fray.
Learn your community, and give in ways that fulfill you; if you enjoy giving, what you give is more profound.
Never take a class that starts after 12 on a Friday. You will skip it.
The ladies in the financial aid office should be your best friends. Especially if you're at an HBCU.
He doesn't know who he is or what he wants, so 1) he has no right to tell you who you are or what you should be and 2) you have to learn and love yourself before you can give yourself to anyone else.
Corollary: always keep condoms and get tested regularly.
Etc etc etc.
oh, and find you a Morehouse Man.
You're welcome.
Ashley Onike Be dogged about your schedule -know when and how to approach financial aid and get involved
Patrice Hammond Stay away from the credit cards! You can ruin your credit before your life really gets started.
Jessica McKeown Think that school is like a job, 9am-5pm. When you're not in class during this time you're studying. This frees up evenings when weekends while your friends cram.
Female students are not a commodity, they are your competition!
Justine Katzenbach Don't be too proud to ask for help and lean on your professors and community. Don't be alarmed if people are unhelpful at first, but don't allow this to stop you from relentlessly pursuing more help. You deserve your college degree just as much as anyone else.
Megan Troy GO TO CLASS. I repeat GO TO CLASS. It's far to easy to say I will just get the notes from someone or that class is so easy. I've seen way to many student fail "easy" classes because they did not go.
Involve yourself, college is a place to grow and build your first true community. Just don't overwhelm yourself in they hype of campus. Your community can be all of two ppl if that is what suits you 😀
India Alwaysthewinner McDougle Before making any decision ask yourself. Will this get me to graduation? If the answer is yes proceed and if the answer is no don't do it.
Don't be afraid of feel guilt about removing people from your life. People talk about the relationships you build in college but never about the ones you sever and I severed a whole lot in my college years.
Take advantage of your resources even if you don't think you need them. I was always in the math lab and writing lab even though I was a pretty good writer.
Keep a schedule and stick to it.
Give your assignments an earlier due date whenever possible so you won't be up the night before trying to get it done. For example if a paper is due on the 20th I would make it a point to have it done by the 15th and turn it in for feedback if I could.
Use birth control! Males and females alike. College is hard enough and even harder with a baby... Speaking from experience.
I feel like writing a book lol
Nneka Bennett Wait, you have old students that are now in their way to college?!?
1. Find a mentor that can hold you accountable and push you. (My mentor I had when I was a freshman has been a blessing to my life even now out of college)
2. STUDY ABROAD...soon and often.
3. Go to your professors office hours and be honest when you need help. They will. Give you tips and how to pass and even give you some extra points for your effort.
4. Get a good group of friends that you can study with and then friends you can party with. Both are important for your success...and they might not always be the same people.
5. Be sexually responsible, use condoms and get some birth control and take it regularly (that's the important part). Take ownership of you sexual health and get tested regularly if you plan to be active.
6. Guard your mental health. Counseling services are usually included in your tuition FOR FREE. If you are feeling sad, anxious, overwhelmed (all emotions you will have multiple times) go talk to someone about it! There is nothing wrong with counseling and in the real world it is not free.
7. Find an organizational system that works for you.
I feel like I could make this list so long, but I'm gonna stop here. Tell them best of luck, we are proud of them! Cherish this new journey because they are, for sure, some of the BEST in their lives.
Sally Winchester Make friends with other ladies who have the same priorities and goals as you. Having the right friends will never be so important!
Sean Duncan What Megan Troy said...GO TO CLASS. Schedule your classes when you know your brain is at its best.
Beverly Frank Keep your eyes on the prize. Always ask you would my parents approve.
Leigh Pourciau Build professional relationships with your favorite professors in your field. That will open on campus opportunities for you as a student and professional opportunities for you after your graduate.
Tracy Polite-Johnson 1. Set your class schedule to fit your most focused times, eg if you are a morning person, take your hardest classes in he morning when you are at your best.
2. If you have problems taking tests or concentration, get help now!
3. All advice is not good advice.
4. It's really easy to get caught up in foolishness.
5. Find and bond with a mentor that is much older than you that can guide you in life. Not tell you what to do, but to advise you.
6. LOVE YOURSELF!!!
Nandi Wilkerson Failure is only an option when you accept it as one. Just know that every hard task is made up of 10 easy/ doable task. If you can break things down into easy task , nothing will stop you.
Arlene Casimir-Siar Stay focused. This is just the beginning. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Your past doesn't define you. You're the author of your story. Make it a best seller!!!
Astria Long Never take your education for granted instead; allow your education to build a nation that your children's children can prosper from!
Fari Nzinga Travel as much as possible. Study abroad as many semesters as are allowed.
So many people have shared wisdom. I'll end with a few things I'd be foolish to leave out.
Be mindful of relationships you build with young men. I hate to say this, but be ware of athletes and fraternity boys, as well. Many of them are great guys, but there is a population that is driven off of the amount of women they can score. Getting too connected with even one can tarnish your reputation and hurt your feelings, so be conscious of how you share your time and your body.
Get multiple internships in your field. Learn how to technically do the things you study. There is a different between theory and practice. For example, many people that study education learn the most when they start to teach in classrooms as opposed to when they study the big ideas behind the discipline. Ensure you have the experiences that will allow employer's to visualize your skill set.
If you do work study, work in the department of your major. Get close with the professors so that you can be certain you will have positive letter of recommendations for work or graduate school.
Go to the career department and learn about jobs and opportunities connected to your field.
Diversify your circle- you will want to hang with people that are very similair to you, but, you will need to broaden your ability to communicate and connect across cultural and racial lines. This can inhibit your ability to interact successfully in professional environments, therefore, prioritize finding classmates or organizations that introduce you to new things.
Start paying your loans as soon as possible. The longer you defer, the longer you'll spend money on things that won't get you out of debt.
Be conscious of how you treat people in your family or from your community that didn't attend college. Though you are being exposed to new opportunities and ideas, this shouldn't eliminate your appreciation for those who you love. Find ways to highlight your community's accomplishment, and be proud!
Don't join a sorority to be cool, join it because you believe in its values. No group can make you feel more confident, that needs to be built inside of you.
Always have a sober friend out with you if you plan to drink. The juice always has alcohol in it.
Don't be afraid to retake classes- summer school is your friend. Get your GPA up, especially if you are attempting to go to graduate school.
Don't be ashamed if you don't know things. Go to office hours and study sessions. You may be missing fundamental knowledge to grasp some of the concepts, and it is important that you lean into this discomfort, be honest with yourself and seek assistance instead of running away from it.
Procrastination is a disease. Seriously, you may find success doing some things last minute, but the reality is doing last minute work and storing the content in your long term memory don't correlate.
Don't trust everyone. You don't need 1,000 best friends. You don't owe everyone your life story. The more you tell, the more people watch and talk.
Join organizations that stimulate growth professionally and spiritually. But, don't do too much too soon. Leadership roles are great, but be sure you can handle the pressure before you take on more than you can chew.
Sit in the front of class. Take notes every class. Don't depend on others for notes and knowledge.
Read! Read! Read! Connect ideas that you are reading about to what you have experienced and see happening in current society. Don't be afraid to challenge theories and ask questions.
Continue to express yourself creatively. Grow and be inspired by great mobiles. Feel good about who you are. You are beautiful, flaws and all. Transform yourself until you feel pleased.
Get spiritually fed.
Take care of your body.
Leave below your means. Don't get a car or an apartment unless you can afford it. Some of your peers may have these resources and may have people who can finically support them. If you are financially independent, don't bite of more than you can chew to "Keep us with the Jones'.
Have fun. This is the time of your life. You might make mistakes. Forgive yourself, and keep soaring. You are our future.
If one of you take even a few of these lessons to heart, I'd be grateful.
With Love,
Queen King and a variety of loved ones
