Monday, October 11, 2010

U Turn

I make u turns.
If my flow is approaching a halting existence, my wheels turn.
Ill ride it out til the end in the right direction.
But, I must find the way.
The GPS is the new skool phase.
My old soul still thrives from southern ways.
Commercial appeal tells you where to go.
Figured out they only think that know what they know.

The power of the people is lost in our minds.
We worry instead of watching God’s eyes.

My rhythm is steady, rolling with the universe.
Stretching every bone to break man’s curse.
Tear down the people with wine and starvation.
Have hungry eyes approaching damnation.
Give me a sign, tell me to hold fast.
Dreams deferred shall come to pass.

Follow and Listen as the wind gives you signs.
Reach out your hand for brothers every time.
A bondservant is humble, loving and kind.
The values we bury with darkness in mind.

The power of the people is lost in our minds.
In shambles, we are reckless.
I stress this.

In and out of my head I search for a solution.
Allow my people to overcome the illusion.
Tear us from confusion.
Allow knowledge, courage and confidence to bridge the fusion.
Single mother’s; depressed.
Drug addict. Incest.
No more.
We are queens, not whores.

I make u turns.
Life’s halts don’t exist.
No stopping.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

2010 BET Awards: Music Mattered Tonight!!


Anytime a program leaves you ready to change the world, somebody was successful. BET did their thing tonight on the 10th Annual BET Music Awards!!! I was literally glued to my couch, using the commercial breaks to browse the bet.com for more information on the local leaders and new musicians. From the tributes to Michael Jackson and Prince to the well planned skits (the best was the Love Jones flashback), I was utterly amazed.
Everyone was on their A game. Jada Pickett rocked a vicarious glow. A beautiful 13 year old blew the roof down with her rendition of Alicia Keys’ “Fallen.” Trey Songs even sang a clean song!!!!
BET did an awesome job reminding us that Music Matters! My soul was filled by the presence of so many great artists. To see the gifts of great artists like Michael Jackson and Prince proves that if great music lived then, it shall never die.
Chris Brown’s tears are evidence of the affect that one man’s creativity can have on the entire world. He definitely won back points tonight. The “I disappointed you one time. I won’t do it again. I promise” line was a good touch. Chris’ publicist will be proud!
Alicia Keys stole Beyonce’s normal shine tonight. She topped it off with showing that she is sexy, pregnant and engaged all on top of the piano. Write about that YBF!
Diddy-Dirty Money: great performance, minus the fact that the girls were absolutely silent. I won’t talk about how I think he is conceited and is a slick owns those girls and guys. What are their names, again? I wouldn’t know!! All I see is D-I-D-D-Y!!!! I’ll let that slide only because I want to be positive.
Ok!!! Wait!!! One more.. Nicki Minaj was definitely rocking today. She is quite a character. Beautiful too. I don’t know how I feel about her acceptance speech explaining how she does this for the women. I mean, if you realized what you were actually teaching the women of tomorrow, you wouldn’t do half of the things that you do. Would you? But, that’s a completely different blog post about the portrayal of the African American woman as sex icons. I won’t continue to elaborate on how Nicki Minaj only affirms those stereotypes, in turn causing our girls to think that they have to fit into the ‘barbie doll’ image to be beautiful. Moving on….
Can I add that Eminem, an adoptive member to the black community, definitely did his thing with his performance!? I’m not afraid to take a stand because of his words. (Ok.. Actually, I wasn’t afraid before, but I know he is trying to encourage others to move, so I want to support that.) I appreciate his honesty about battling addiction and overcoming pain. Keep speaking it!!
The new artist spotlights were an original touch. The innovative lyrics were comforting. It felt good to see that real artists still do exist. My Pandora account is dying to add a station from someone whose reign was after the 90’s. (Lauryn Hill is about the latest artist I can do. Ok, I can also get down with Jill, Alicia, India, Chrisette and Corrine, but I was trying to make a point!)
BET definitely left me feeling like I have some work to do. We have to use our gifts towards uplifting our community. It is time to not only have money and sex on our minds but to be filled with humanitarian efforts that extend across the world to end the vast neglect of our people. John Legend, winner of this year’s humanitarian award, challenged us to stand up for decreasing poverty and ensuring that ‘our’ children receive a quality education.
Educational leaders that were recognized such as a veteran teacher from Missippii and Geoffrey Canada, leader of Harlem’s Children Zone, Inc. helped viewers to get a glimpse of the immense need there is of advocates for our children’s success. They need our help in aiding America through an educational reform that will allow all of our children to read on grade level, increase their critical thinking skills, go to college and revolutionize the world.
The 2010 BET Awards spoke change. It definitely reminded me of why I love being black. I’m so glad that we dodged the awkward moments when you just want to cover your face from the embarrassment that our people can sometimes cause our entire race. The BET Awards have previously been the ground for those memorable, yet horrid moments. Tonight, most moments were ones to be proud of.
Finally, I shout out my girl Queen Latifah, who not only revealed the evolution of a persevering black professional through her theatrical performances and outfits, but also because she represented with poise how beautiful black really is!
Bravo BET!!! I know you will give at least 12 encores this month.
Alright after show! The celebs get real real when you get behind the curtain. Gotta love it.

Sticks and Stones What a big lie, “Sticks …

Sticks and Stones What a big lie, “Sticks …

We need to uplift each other.

Every Little Girl DREAMS

Little girl, why are you sad?

Dry your eyes.

If I tell you that you’re beautiful, will you believe me? If I whisper secrets of your future, will you deny me?

The pain that you feel is attached to my soul. Your disappointment is my strength. Your passion is my present.

Did I ever tell you that I love you? Do you realize that your creativity will drive an entire nation?
Listen, as I gracefully speak your life.

You will be a warrior! For the rest of your life, you will fight to teach others how to seek truth. Your days will be lengthened because of your kind spirit. Hearts will bend and bruises will disappear because of your anointed touch. You will encourage broken souls and push them towards the path of righteousness. Your cup will run over.

Halt! The wicked will not accept your gifts.

Listen to me closely as I reveal the darkness that shall haunt you.

You will make many mistakes. You will be tortured by your past. People will not understand you. In fact, they will despise you. Your heart will be heavy with sorrow, for those that you love will attempt to break you. Your mind will overflow with burden, and you will be discouraged. During those moments, hold fast to your dreams.

In the midst of it all, your weakness will be your strength. The tribulations that you acquire on your journey will be your weapons. You will fight with your wisdom and save the universe.
You are the vision. You are change. Faith is your foundation, for you, my child, are love.
I feel your presence near me when I sleep. I walk with the remembrance of your sensitivity daily. I reminisce about the moments we’ve shared together. I model your integrity and humility. You are my inspiration.

Did I ever tell you I loved you? Do you realize that your creativity will drive a nation?

Little girl, you live inside of me, and I will never leave you.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Sacrificing for the Greater Good


My kids will pass this test. I have 10 students to get through the battle of this standardized assessment for their second time during summer remediation. For the next three weeks that I teach them, I will not eat meat or sweets, drink alcohol, watch television or participate in any activity that is not related to work before 5p.m. on school days. I will do this with an effort to put all of energy into being the best teacher that I can be for them. Second time around, these young leaders have no time for failure. Together, we will endure the workload, ensuring that they are prepared to break the chains and excell. Our community needs this. I must not fail them.


There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Contemplated Reply






May 31, 1786
11:55 p.m.

Hello,
Dear Sir.



I wanted you to have my best penmanship. I wonder if you will ever read this. I wonder if it will get lost, forgotten, or overlooked.
I can’t help it. My heart is so big. I’m conflicted internally because I don’t want to feel this way. I’m making life hard for myself. I realize that.
I don’t know your life. I don’t have to. I won’t try if you don’t want me to. I don’t want to make things hard for you. When I reach out to you, it’s not a plea for attention. It’s a moment of truth. Life gets like this when you are an honest person. I am not a saint. But I am not a liar. It is not in me. I try, but my face tells the truth. My heart speaks straight through my body.
One day, I’ll stop dreaming of that fairytale moment with you. I’ll stop smiling about the sarcastic conversations. I’ll forget the witty comments. I’ll close my eyes to the admiration of your gifted thoughts. I’ll try to see the bad in you. I’ll grow to hate you for your white privilege. I’ll call you a sell out and say you don’t really care about the black community. I’ll label you as anti-Christ and pray that He have mercy on your soul. I’ll lie to make myself feel better. I’ll do whatever it takes to shake this feeling.
For now, I dream of you... This too shall pass..

Green Eyes by Erykah Badu


This song is a classic. I lose myself in the words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh-FjG72FmQ

My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

I don't care, I swear
I'm too thru with you
I am
You don't mean nothing to me
So go ahead and be with your friend

My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

I'm insecure
But I can't help it
My mind says move on
My heart lags behind
But I don't love you any more
I'm so insecure
Never knew that love did this
Ooh, ooh
I can't remember the last time I felt this way
About somebody
You've done something to my mind
And I can't control it
But I don't love you any more
Yes I do,
I thinkLoving you is wrong baby
Ooh, ooh
La-di-da
Dum-dee-da-da
Dum-didi-da-da-da
Dum-didi-da-dum-di

I'm so confused
You tried to trick me yeah
Ooh, ooh, oh
Never knew that love could hurt like this
Never thought I would but I got dissed
Makes me feel so sad and hurt inside
Feel embarrased so I want to hide
Silly me I thought your love was true
Change my name to Silly E. Badu
Before I heal, it's gonna be a while
I know it's gonna be a while, chile

[ad-libs]

I hope it's not too late
Too late, too late, too late
Feeling insecure
Your love has got me sore
I don't want no more
Oh, oh
It's too late, oh, oh ooh, ooh
I'm sorry I love youAt first it was cool
You told me you loved me too, ooh
And then you lost your love
And then you lost your love
And then you lost your love
You wanted me to go away
But I can't go
See I can't leave, it's too lateI can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late
Just make love to me
Just one more time and then you'll see
I can't believe I made a desparate plea
Believe me yeah, ye-ah, no, oh
You see I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late
Don't you know, I can't leave, it's too late
Can't go no where, noIt's too late
It's too lateIt's too lateIt's too late yeah
Come on babe
Don't you want be strong with me
You told me we could have a family
Want to run to me when you're down and low
But times get tough and there you go
Out the door, you wanna run again
Open your arms and you'll come back in
Wanna run cause you say your afraid, afraid
Never knew what a friendship was
Never knew how to really love
You can't be what I need you to
And I don't know why i
_ with you
I know our love will never be the same
But I can't stand the growing pains

-Indy

Youth

I have been inspired.

I will not get tired.

I have been inspired.

No time to be tired.

Inspired.

May never retire.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Sex and the City Deuce: My thoughts and Yours


Single girls from all over New Orleans flocked to see Sex and the City II last night. I, of course, was one of them. I bedazzled my way through the crowd, sat front and center and titled my head towards the big screen! Ignorant of the plot, I anticipated the movie with my friend and gently sipped my “Jungle Juice” flavor daiquiri.
I prepared myself to be inspired. I yearned to have a deeper understand of love and intimacy. I hope to leave uplifted, embracing my single status as a gift rather than a curse, which is what society tries to make singles feel.
I couldn’t help but wonder…… Am I the only person that is watching this commercial movie for answers about my real life?
My thoughts were quickly interrupted by the opening song, the song of the year, Empire State of Mind. All of my focus went to the show. I’d like to think that the Jay’s voice had that effect on me.
As I sipped my beverage, which at this point began to work its magic, I lost myself in New York City. I giggled my way through the movie, satisfied with the fashion, tripped out by the climax, and not so impressed with the resolution.
From insecurities about weight and aging to the fear of infidelity in a relationship to pulling skeleton’s out of the closet, I found myself empathetic of situations that I encountered and those that never crossed my path.
Sex and the City, in general, reveals friendships to be non judgmental bonds that surpass every trial. It creates an untraditional depiction of love that suggests that each couple can create their own boundaries. Sex and the City also seperates the individual from society in showing that happiness and peace can be found in more than one way.

When I began to feel what each of the ladies were experiencing, I realized the purpose of movies like Sex and the City. Women need to feel connected to something. Knowing that people worldwide experience that same struggles that we battle with enables us to feel normal.


Here are the lessons that one can take from this movie.


1. Many times, we are made to feel ridiculous because we obsess over detail and are sensitive to emotions. This movie suggests that your thoughts and feelings are legit and worthy of attention.
2. Women can be strong enforcers in a relationship and not take over the positions of their men.
3. Women can make mistakes in a relationship and not be help more guilty than a man who makes slips that same way.
4. Relationships are not easy, but real love conquers all.
5. There are no rules.
6. A cute dress and pumps are a recipe for a splendid day!

My question to you……Can you really have sex and the city? Meaning, can one really be have a good relationship and still be all about pursuing their own interests in the world? How does it work?

Friday, May 28, 2010

Celibacy

Somebody already broke my heart. Do you want to follow in their footsteps? Would you rather not touch so that the property will be absent of damage? Do you deem me unworthy? My insecure heart is too gentle to handle this oppression. I shall purify my soul and fight the urge to love until every part of me is ready. Will it be too late?

Sleeping With the Enemy

When did my heart become my enemy? I thought we were a team. My nemesis is haunting me. She wants me to do the unimaginable. She wants me to break all of the rules. She wants me to stop thinking. The protagonist in me won’t allow me to do anything less than save her. Where shall I carry her being? She is stuck in between two worlds. Is the darker side more pain than pleasure? How will one ever know? Where should I go? Slowly. Surely. I’m caught in the maze of… The crazy craze of….. I don’t know where to go.

I want to walk away. Take my feet and gracefully stride by, turning the corner with haste. Nope. I lay at night, dreaming. I sneak off in the day..to dream. I can’t escape the urge. The sensation stimulates my soul. How will I know if it is right? The world tells me it is wrong.

I want to say all of the things that I should have said. No regrets. Will you allow me?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

General Inspiration


Witnessing the productivity of a ground-breaking general inspires my soul.


I silently watch, in awe, as the confident chief leads his people towards victory. One battle at a time, he urges his troops to work hard and be nice. The seminar begins. I hear the song of an angel and observe utensils moving as swift as the morning’s breeze. Dominating the territory, he instructs his followers on the protocol and traditions of war. The general subjectively outlines.


1. Know why you are fighting and what you are fighting for.
2. Form your own opinion because what you think matters.
3. Believe in your choice.
4. Don’t be afraid to compromise.
5. Move.


My eyes are focused as I analyze the general’s purpose and humbly observe him pushing his troops to give their best effort. An intelligent scholar, the general moves around the crowd and uplifts their spirits with wisdom. I take mental notes and wonder if I will ever carry the torch as gracefully as he does. The flame burns and reflects in his eyes.


The general, fierce in his deliverance, magically reveals authentic sequences to his troops. He gently opens his ear to their concerns and responds with great heart. The stoic expression on his face sings compassion and tenacious faith.


When he speaks, no one dares to interrupt. His exuberant voice keeps hope alive. The ingenious preparation that he commits towards the craft of excellence and domination impresses allies, intimidates foes and intrigues strangers.


The hearts and minds of the young innovative fighters grow as they are molded into conquerors through his leadership. Minds are motivated to persevere through tough challenges. Maturing soldiers are encouraged to rise up for the greater good.


I enlist. I report to duty without delay. This war is ours. We are the change.


Mission accomplished.

Friday, May 14, 2010

I Vow to Change My Mind


I used to live in a box: a place where there were many boundaries. The wiser I become, the more my mind stretches outside of the wintry walls. I have to break free! I need a change. Living in a tight space is suffocating. I must find freedom through changing my perception of the world.
Until very recently, I neglected to learn about things that were not a norm in my daily life. My vision was blurred by this lack of diversity. With an effort to overcome the bondage placed on my mind, my goal is to become a scholar of the world. I want to experience various cultures, religions, languages, genres of dance, literature, music, food and histories.
To be an expert of the world, I must see it! I want to travel this earth, as if I were a gypsy. I love my America: she belongs to me. I shall not abandon my country, but I can't die wondering what it would have been like if I'd neglected to go on a journey of enlightenment. I'd like to see if chivalry is dead in Paris, take pictures of the unique architecture in Rome, evaluate the political system in China, pray to Christ in Italy, and witness the reform of education and poverty in Africa. I want to walk barefoot on Jamaican sands, leaving a funky footprint of peace. I'd like to sail the Atlantic Ocean and hear tales about the slave trade that changed my peoples' history. Like a caterpillar, I will blossom into a beautiful butterfly, expand my wings and soar across new lands, leaving each place more colorful than it was when I arrived.
Most importantly, in order to become a guru of the world, I must stop limiting myself. Having poise and confidence will give me the courage to venture out and conquer new challenges. I must not fear the unknown. Instead, I have to believe in myself, and go for it! Once I begin to make these changes within myself, I'll be one step closer to changing the universe; for it is my duty to be the change that I want to see in the world.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Half My Mom's Age


I am but half her age. The woman so wise and worn from tribulation. I still feel like that baby girl that walked in her sleep. That girl who cried for her daddy on nights with no returned words. That girl is more than a part of me. She is the voice that pushes me to perfection. She refocuses me when I am distracted. This beautiful baby allows me to see how the world can oppress individuals when it is given the power. She humbles me. She tells me what I will have, if only I remember what I always have had. That little girl was created by a woman that is doubled in age. They share attitude, anxiety, and a BOSS mentality. They share strenghth, generousity, an intense work ethic, and perseverance. Most of all: they share love.

I am but half her age. When will I receive the life lessons? When will the wisdom pour out of my mouth and cover me from the vicious decisons I choose to make? When will I stop worrying about things that I have no control over and surrender to the written story?

I am but half her age. I am already many parts of her. The hereditary blesses have been passed down. I take each gift and build on it. I will use what I have to get where I shall be in the purest form known to man. I thank her for the gentle moments of knowledge that she poured into my world.

I am but half her age. Will I see the same trials? Will he attempt to creep in and take over my life? I know he is coming to take over my future and leave me crippled. I refuse to give in to his lustful lifestyle and praise his ignorance. I have to tell him something. I hope he hears me. The curse is broken, dear nemesis. You can't hold me down.

I am but half her age. I'm more motivated than ever before. Half her age, I grow. I pour the blessings from my annointings in their lives, the same way she does. I walk in her footsteps being a strong leader that never fails to complete her responsibilities. I stretch what I have and make it enough to complete the job.

I am but half her age. I am still that girl with vast dreams. For if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. I'll take Langston's advice and hold fast to my dreams.

Half her age, I am. Half her age, I will always be.